Challenges in the Heart

Sometimes it's finally time to walk away...

After years of verbal abuse from a particular person, I've made the decision it's time to leave. I've sought therapy in the past and it was said to walk away from this relationship because it's toxic. I made the decision that it was better to stick around. As of this weekend, I can't take it anymore. It's officially time to protect my heart and be gone. I still wish this individual the best; I hope they find love in their heart for them self as well as everyone else around them because loneliness is knocking at this person's door. 

It's also made me take a look at every relationship I've had in the past. So many relationships have required me to give, give, give. Nothing seems to be balanced in the relationships I have. I wonder why? Most of the relationships are one-sided and it's about me reaching out and helping the person but not the other way around. How many people actually reach out to you? 

Being single and alone (I'm learning) definitely has its advantages. I have my animals. And I have the family members that TRULY matter. Projects take up my time as well as the job. God is always near. At the end of the day, maybe I've been looking at it all wrong; maybe it's time to accept that I'm meant to be alone. I'd rather be alone than be with someone that doesn't want me in their life or doesn't care about me at all. I'd rather be alone than emotionally and verbally abused. I'd rather be alone than have my heart shattered in a million pieces again. 

Rebuilding who you are can be important. It's a long journey... and a difficult one. Maybe someday I'll see the true rewards at the end of the day. Because right now, I just feel sheer pain and being let down by not only one person, but so many people, because I don't have anything left to give to these individuals anymore- especially the main person that inspired this writing and the heartache from this weekend. 

I'm done.

I'd rather finally care about me.

It's time to move forward and make some serious, positive, personal changes.