Challenges in the Heart

Sometimes it's finally time to walk away...

After years of verbal abuse from a particular person, I've made the decision it's time to leave. I've sought therapy in the past and it was said to walk away from this relationship because it's toxic. I made the decision that it was better to stick around. As of this weekend, I can't take it anymore. It's officially time to protect my heart and be gone. I still wish this individual the best; I hope they find love in their heart for them self as well as everyone else around them because loneliness is knocking at this person's door. 

It's also made me take a look at every relationship I've had in the past. So many relationships have required me to give, give, give. Nothing seems to be balanced in the relationships I have. I wonder why? Most of the relationships are one-sided and it's about me reaching out and helping the person but not the other way around. How many people actually reach out to you? 

Being single and alone (I'm learning) definitely has its advantages. I have my animals. And I have the family members that TRULY matter. Projects take up my time as well as the job. God is always near. At the end of the day, maybe I've been looking at it all wrong; maybe it's time to accept that I'm meant to be alone. I'd rather be alone than be with someone that doesn't want me in their life or doesn't care about me at all. I'd rather be alone than emotionally and verbally abused. I'd rather be alone than have my heart shattered in a million pieces again. 

Rebuilding who you are can be important. It's a long journey... and a difficult one. Maybe someday I'll see the true rewards at the end of the day. Because right now, I just feel sheer pain and being let down by not only one person, but so many people, because I don't have anything left to give to these individuals anymore- especially the main person that inspired this writing and the heartache from this weekend. 

I'm done.

I'd rather finally care about me.

It's time to move forward and make some serious, positive, personal changes.

Puppies on Saturday

Ahhh, gotta love puppies. What a fun day. I had to babysit the dogs this morning before an eight week old great dane puppy arrived. One of my family members received a puppy today. So I was watching all the dogs, and then the puppy arrived. How fun. So cute. The puppy stumbles over his feet and falls a lot. His feet are HUGE. He has the rolley-polley skin. A weird sounding little bark when he does bark. And he fits right in. Aren't puppies just the best? However, watch your clothes and anything special; the chewing begins.

Woke up early today. Still fighting constantly being tired. I don't know what's causing it but all I want to do is sleep. I don't know why. Anyone have any good ideas how to make the constant exhaustion go away?

The sun was out and it was a beautiful day. When there are days like this, what do you enjoy doing?

Anyway, I'm off to go read a good book and cuddle up in a blanket to stay warm.

Blessings.

"Little Italy" Movie Night

Perfect night for a great movie. Favorite drink, grab some grub, and let the brain finally RELAX.

Today wasn't a bad day. In fact, it was a decent day. But the most important act came at the end of the day. My fate is sealed as to how we move forward starting next week. It's nerve-racking for certain reasons. At the same time, I can be by myself on a shift and prove I can do the job. I CAN DO THIS! 

Then dealing with signing up for health insurance; ya know, important stuff.

And then I turned on the computer and played with the animals and attempted to do homework but I just couldn't think. One of these days...

I'm hoping now that answers have been stated maybe the stress will start to eliminate from my mind and body so I can better focus on my personal life. Because currently my personal life is kinda falling apart. But I hope to 100% rectify that as of this weekend.

Anyway, bed time! And I have to wake up to dog sit tomorrow morning.

Blessings.

Facing Fears and Feeling Tired

How has your energy level been?

It's been COLD! And I'm sure that has contributed to my lack of wanting to do anything after work. At least the sun shines. I love the sun; it's so rejuvenating. But that doesn't take away from the lack of energy.

I've been in a goofy mood all day. I wanna laugh, crack jokes, stroll around, talk to people, watch movies, and just be free. There's always something to do (that I don't accomplish). And the sad part is I KNOW I can do what I need to do but there is a voice in my head that keeps saying "what if you can't or don't truly want to?" Fear is a pain. I need to get over it.

Today, I read a daily devotional about a saying "in Jesus's name." We need to give it to Jesus. Go to Jesus with an open heart and talk to him. And then end your prayer with "In Jesus's name". It was a good devotional. I usually end my prayers with Amen... but in Jesus's name can be a different start especially if it's something important.

Maybe I can chase this nagging feeling away and not just start the work but DO the work if I give it to Jesus and end the prayer with "in Jesus's name." 

On that note, small goal mastered; I wrote today. Sadly I want to sleep now. See??? It's procrastination!!! But let's go tackle this goal RIGHT NOW. Baby steps to starting something new and making it become a habit.

Blessings.

Not in the Mood to Talk (Wed)

Sometimes there are days that we don't want to talk... and that's OK! Being true to yourself is most important. Want a good movie that explains this message in a positive way? Watch "Radio Rebel." It's a cute movie with a strong emphasis on being yourself.

The day started with my stomach in knots. I've been struggling finding my voice lately as well as struggling to follow through with things I want to accomplish. (Yes, illness was the beginning of the year. As that is no longer the case, now I'm just being stubborn and apparently scared to start anything I want to do now.) Fear is an issue. Fear can be a motivator. Fear can be a hindrance. Right now, I work and sleep. Gotta change that...

Anyway, the day started with massive amounts of stress. I knew there were going to be issues. As the day progressed, I ended up facing my fears, making decisions, communicating with people, and shaking things up. With help from others (who were very kind) teamwork accomplished everything, and I'm super proud of how the day turned out. I got answers to issues that have had weeks of complications. I gave it my very best. Nothing came to a screeching halt, and I ended the day with a smile on my face.

I knew I could write last night. I just didn't know what to write. In fact, I think today's article (for yesterday) turned out better than expected. But to be honest, I just didn't want to write last night. So see, we can have goals and take a day off to get back on track. A delay doesn't have to be the end of the world. Now I'm talking and taking care of other things. :) 

Have a good night.

 

Freedom and Religion

Freedom: I just have to say it. Day #2 by myself (no training) operating the room I have been part of training in for the last two months for my job. It's not fast, it's not perfect, but guess what... I DID IT and I'M DOING IT! I just have to say it because I'm proud, and I'm trying to acknowledge the positive each day. (aka: self-care)

Religion: we are studying the book of "John" in my bible study group. Week #2. I love my group. They ask great questions and make it interesting. I wished I was more prepared for today, but being honest, I did the reading. I just thought the philosophical questions were slightly challenging (for me). I love how God is there if you are open and receptive to him. He has been guiding and helping. He's a great leader and a miracle worker even to this day.

Health: finally improving. Energy levels are starting to rise and hearing is slowly coming back. The right ear sound is still slightly muffled, but it's getting better.

Studies: WILL START TOMORROW!!!! (let's check in on this then... seriously!!!)

To my 2nd shift guy friend who loves to teach me life lessons (from Traverse City): we spent quite a bit of time talking about God, religion, and what we spoke about in studies this evening. It's always an interesting conversation. I appreciate his wisdom and friendship very-much-so. 

The pets: they love begging for attention. We play. We cuddle. It's never enough. But they love when I'm home. And I don't know about everyone else but the weather has been like ten degrees, I'm chilled to the bone, snow continuously falls. It's beautiful outside. But I have three blankets over me and my skin is still cold to the touch. So a conversation and bed are perfect for the evening.

Blessings.

Snow Fall and Productivity

Nothing like waking up to a blanket of snow everywhere with a chill in the air. Took care of all the morning chores... and onto the day.

Good co-workers and great managers make the day a great one. Note: the snow continuously fell throughout the day. (granted, this is normal for this time of year; it's just extra cold and that means I really do have to shovel the driveway now.)

Came home to shovel the driveway. I wish I had a picture because the driveway turned out pretty nice. It only took 1 hour 45 min to complete. Made sure to take care of a few other chores and responsibilities. Now it's onto the last of the personal projects tonight to make sure tomorrow is impressive, at least for the personal side of life.

That is the beginning of self-care again.

Snow Day & Show (Sun)

Sometimes you have to take care of yourself. I've been a little stressed lately, and healing from the ear infection with lack of sleep, and trying to get things accomplished even though I haven't been doing my self-care. How did self care manifest? Having energy to stay awake on the couch, but too cold to move, and happily watching a tv show- that's so good it's like a movie.

Have you heard of "Archive 81?" Super good Netflix show. It's a thriller. The writing, the actors, the producers, etc. everything about it was well produced. If you like a good mystery mixed with a little syfy, this just might be a show for you. :)  

Be Happy

 Good Morning People of Michigan! :) Actually, good afternoon to everyone...

Are you enjoying your day? Tell me, what's something positive you've experienced this year?

Believe it or not, I've been awake since 8am. It's been a slow start. Still feeling tired, but I'm getting moving and starting to get things done. There have even been highs and lows that I've experienced today. Yet, I do believe things will continue to improve. 

Remember the words, "give it to God and he will provide." I do believe everything is in God's hands.  

T.G.I.F. (Fri)

Have you ever had those weeks that just never end? And you wish it was to the point where it's time for YOUR weekend? I know some people work the weekends- so maybe your weekend is on a Monday (just an example). But for me I'm back to having Saturday and Sundays off, and I just need this week to be over.

It wasn't extremely difficult. I'm just exhausted. I want to be able to sleep, spend time on self-care, and start feeling positive again.

Also, I lifted almost a full crate of blocks that weigh 2,500 lbs; out of 501 pieces I moved about 400 pieces. Then I lifted bar stock. Spent the day cutting, chamfing, and then delivering the barstock. I literally feel like a body builder. Every muscle hurts. My thighs, my upper back between my shoulder blades, my forearms, etc. When I looked down I was at 21,000 steps and still counting. This was definitely a physical day. 

When we don't hold ourselves back we can accomplish great things. But that also doesn't mean we don't need downtime. Chasing dreams and goals is important. Just remember to take care of yourself along the way too. 

Maya Angelou (Thurs)

Maya Angelou is a great poet, author, activist, and role model. She may have started out young with difficulties, but who she grew into was an inspiring woman. Unexpectedly, I watched a video about her. This video was speaking about when she was younger she had been raped by a family member. Later she told her brother, who told her mother what happened, which placed this man in prison. It was in prison where he was beaten to death. She was only seven years old when this man passed away, and that is when she went mute. 

What I didn't realize about Maya was that she didn't speak for years. She went silent. No one could get her to speak. No one understood why she stopped talking. As her town slowly gave up on her and insulted her in the process, and then family members gave up, it looked like all hope was lost. It was her grandmother and a teacher by the name of Ms. Flowers that inspired her. They never lost hope. They always encouraged her to do great things! She was meant to use her voice. For years she wrote on a tablet that was tied to her waist. Grandma kept saying use that beautiful voice to impact the world. And Ms. Flowers gave her tough love. Ms. Flowers told her that to be a poet you have to speak and you won't truly be a poet until you speak the words with your tongue. Maya ran away from that conversation. And the teacher followed her back to her grandmother's house and pointed a finger at her in her face and said I'm not done with this conversation. She continued to tell Maya what makes a great poet. That teacher continuously didn't give up on her. And the rest is history. Because when Maya finally did speak, look what amazing things she was able to accomplish? And when she did speak, she also said it was her seven year old brain that understood she was the reason the man was killed in prison and she was afraid it was her voice that would kill; she didn't want to hurt anyone else so she went silent.

Never judge someone. You don't truly know what they are going through. And never give up on someone. You never know what greatness they will create when they finally find the courage to follow their heart and be who they are meant to become. 

Dream a Little Dream (Wed)

Alright, I'm in need of some new tips here. What causes a person to sleep eleven hour days nonstop? 

- lack of sunlight

- poor sleep

- infections not fully rid of the body yet

- hormones not balanced

I don't know what is going on but all I do is sleep. I literally get home, have five minutes to stay awake, and I'm passed out (not by choice). I've set alarms. I've had people call. Nothing works to wake me up. When I'm down, I'm out cold sleeping until it's time for work again. If you're looking for posts, inspiration, a phone call, homework, a visit, etc. don't count on it. My sincerest apologies. Apparently sleep is taking over and it's all I can do to stay awake these days.

Positivity Radiates (Tue)

Working with people who have a positive attitude makes all the difference. I switched trainers this week and I can already see a huge difference. My self-care was going by the wayside. In fact, working with my second trainer (technically the first trainer I started with in my new role) he's supportive. I can make mistakes, where I usually figure out what I did wrong and fix it before there is actually an error, with peace of mind. It's a safe environment. He teaches me and I listen. (I do my BEST to retain all the information given; trust me, this position is filled with details and knowledge to be good in this role but it doesn't mean it isn't a lot in the beginning.) I feel safe. I'm not made to feel less-than just because I didn't do something exactly the way someone else does something. 

I've always been different, and I've always thought it's both a blessing and a curse. I see things differently. I'm a creative. (Never logical. lol) I had a teacher in high school, chemistry class, where I asked a question and she screamed at me in front of the whole class. She drew a picture on her board of a big circle and then put an x to the top left way outside of the circle. In class she goes "the circle represents all the students I teach and you're the x; I don't know how to teach you." She stormed out of class and that was that.

In this new role with the other trainer, I'm pretty sure he's logical and I'm a creative again. I totally respect him, but he isn't very nice when things don't go according to his plan. How do I better word it? He's strict, it's his way, he focuses more on the errors verses the positive, and there is no room for error- even when beginning. I can't handle the pressure. I'm breaking!

So when I go back to the other trainer, it's a breath of fresh air to know you can still do a job while feeling safe and secure while growing into the new role.

If and when you ever teach someone, just be kind! Remember what it's like to be new. Training for an experienced pro can be just as difficult as it is for a new person to learn and quickly step into that role with the rest of the team members.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day (Mon)

Martin Luther King day is a day to remember how far we have come with change. It's about remembering a great man who gave his everything to make a positive difference in our world. And it's about a man who made such a difference that he still impacts our people, our culture, and our world in a positive way today. 

Reverend King was a minister first and foremost. He had a very close relationship with God. And it's through his teachings and his words that he reached out to all sorts of people. His words are powerful and truth-telling. He stood up for what was right. Which is why he was one of the most visible and loved activists during the civil rights movement. He had the courage and the strength to stand up for what is right. Look how many people he has inspired over the years. Will you follow in his footsteps and continue to fight for what you believe in?

Focusing for Next Week

It was laundry day! I HATE doing laundry. Six loads. Washed and put away. And I dropped as soon as it was done after seven hours. Which says I'm still not 100% health wise. It's great that I don't have a sore throat anymore and the ear pain has subsided. But I still can't hear out of my right ear. And I have to go, take a nap, go, take a nap, etc. It's frustrating because I can accomplish things for a few hours and then need a two hour nap.

There were a few other minor things along the way that I accomplished cleaning house today. But not everything can get accomplished. There is just not enough time in the day. But what I did was super important because it sets the rest of the week up for success.

For instance: Ugh! Homework is NOT DONE! I'm a week behind on school already. This is NOT a repeat of last year Winter 2021 semester. But it is a slow start. I'll have to get back to it starting tomorrow no matter what. I also didn't read my self-care books (two weeks behind on that) and I didn't have a chance to exercise. Does cleaning count for exercising?!? (I don't count it, sadly.)

My church sermon from today was phenomenal. It just hit home. It was all about joy and experiencing joy from God. Then I had a church meeting to learn more about my church (again) and it turned out to be a really good, quick meeting. 

Moving forward, animals are happy.

And I'm tired. Back to bed! Let's accomplish these goals tomorrow.

Blessings. 

Speechless on a weekend

Today did not go as planned. Waking up at 4am and not feeling well is not fun. With the help of my antibiotic, I started to feel better around 8:30am. Ended up sleeping on and off throughout the day. Completed small projects. Got tired and fell asleep early again. Now I'm back up confused, angered, and frustrated that I didn't accomplish more today. Yet, my ear still hurts and is throbbing as we speak; I'm just trying to get healthy again. Uuugghhhh!!!!! This is so frustrating. 

God works miracles in mysterious ways. I'm super proud I woke up and read my daily devotional. The messages lately seem to be on par with how the day goes. I managed to catch up on my church sermons today too. (I had three to watch.) Thank goodness my church still has online sermons and they keep the previous videos up for quite awhile. My pastors are the best and the messages are strong. 

Later I finally opened up my packages that arrived on Monday. Again, God's timing is perfect. It was the right day to open them because I ended up wearing the outfit all day and it brightened my day. Had some great conversations with people. Interestingly again, I had some conversations with friends earlier that again were right on time with God's grace and timing. Interesting how everything works together.

I'd love to say I exercised but I'm having issues with my equilibrium being off. I keep getting dizzy and nauseous. So, I guess it'll have to wait one more day.

End of day I went to see my mom today. She's so good. There is a project she's wanted me to work on for over a week so I made time today to help her for an hour. It's always great to see family. Sadly, even moving around seems to tire me out lately. Up for two hours, down for two to three hours, up to complete another project, back down in a couple hours. You get how this goes. Fixing health takes time to recover. Sadly, time is not my friend much these days. Challenges are arriving and it's time for me to shine this year.

Well, I enjoyed my dog cuddling in my lap and my cat laying on my head this evening. Being near family members (pets included) is comforting. And I don't know what else to say other than I'm trying to do my best while resting. One other goal to accomplish is to do a quick write. (trying to make this a daily habit.) I just don't have anything of importance to say today. I'm moreso putting faith in God that everything will work itself out the way it needs to be worked out. (yes, this does include me doing the work along the way.) 

The thing that keeps coming back as a recurring theme today is love. So many people I know have fallen in love from online dating. I've helped people meet. Others have met people and less than a year later they are happily married. I'm happy for these people. It seems these days everyone has someone.

But sometimes, it's more important to focus on yourself.

... and ignore the nightmares that continuously haunt- especially the last several days.

Blessings.

Finally Some Sleep

Happy Friday! Did this feel like a long week? There is nothing I am more grateful for at this point than medicine that helps cure an ear infection and rest. How I can't wait to cozy into the bed and get some sleep and pray the body continues to heal itself throughout the evening to wake up positive and happy.

Today was a GREAT day. I got to train with one of my favorite trainers today. He's smart, kind-hearted, goofy, loves his job, and likes to work in a team setting. He gives me confidence and hope. It was a much needed, positive, and refreshing day. Then, I ended the day with seeing my "old crew" favorite teammmates, had an unexpected and wonderful conversation with my "new" boss, and found out I have health insurance... like soooon!!!! (Thank goodness for so many reasons for health insurance: #1: if I have to race to the doc again and #2: I need a different med to reach goals in 2022.) We (my coworkers and I) also should be part of a bonus plan, and my boss believes in me personally too. It was just inspiring to end the day with positivity.

Animal love is what I was greeted with when I arrived home. My fat cat and poofy dog crack me up. I love how when I eat dinner they both beg for food. (I did not give in.) They literally just got fed their specialty food. Yet, that's not good enough. They want mine. And afterwards the cat rolled around on my computer while the dog got jealous and continuously pounced on the cat. I just pet tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb and ensure the outdoor cat is happily fed too. LOL. Gotta love our friendly, furry (scaley: fish included) home.

On that note, eyes are heavy and the brain is mellowed out. Time for bed.Let the real challenges begin tomorrow. Hopefully I'm feeling better.

Don't forget to thank God for all the blessings and miracles he bestows upon us each day and how he works in all of our lives for the better- through good times and challenging times. Amen.

Blessings.

Urgent Care (Thurs)

 I barely survived the day. It was another emotionally (at work) and physically (pain) challenging one. The worst was when I went to leave work and my throat and ear pain was so bad I started balling my eyes out. I never cry! This isn't mean. Yet, let the tears flowed down as the throat became even more painful and the sharp pains in the right ear shot through the internal canals.

I ended up going to urgent care... AGAIN! Thank you to the doctors that saw me. Easy in and easy out. No strep, no covid (go figure), no sorts of infection EXCEPT my ear infection is very prominent and even worse than before (fourteen days ago). Antibiotics are much needed!!!! And thank you to the pharmacy that filled it so quickly. Again, easy in and easy out. 

Poor animals love to say hi and I did say hi. I pet and cuddled my animals. Took the medicine. And passed out within twenty minutes. The poor animals need more love and affection. But when you don't feel well it makes it so hard to stay awake and function. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself before you can help take care of others. 

Sleep... and hopefully a good night (as best as can be under these circumstances). Fingers crossed.

Blessings.

More New Years Pain (Wed)

 Oh my goodness! There is nothing like waking up in tears from the pain. The ear throbs! The throat is sore. I slept all night and am still exhausted.

Have to go to work... must go to work... have to go to work... all for the meeting that I don't want or agree to have; yet, it must happen.

The day went.

The meeting happened.

Unexpectedly, there was ANOTHER MEETING at the end of the day that was surprisingly a good thing.

Got home and fell asleep immediately. (Fingers crossed over the counter medicine works.)

Blessings.

Sore Throat & Sleep (Tue)

 Sometimes you just need sleep. With waaay too little sleep and drainage that just won't stop (aka: sore throat), ya just gotta go to bed early. At least I do tonight.

Wanna laugh? To make my writing check-in goal, I even tried to blog on my phone in the middle of my sleep before midnight last night, but I couldn't figure it out. All I remember is passing out again.

So this morning, this is what I would have written last night... enjoy your zzz's and good night.

Blessings. 

Monday, Monday

Nothing like surviving another grand day. Waking up was soooo difficult this morning. The cold, my nice warm bed, kinda dreading going into the office... yea, waking up was not the easiest feat. Then after work I had to take care of some important tasks: phone calls, meetings, trainings. Running more errands after that- such as getting gas and going to the grocery store. So I basically woke up at 5am and came home and sat down by 10pm. Good times! And of course I had to deal with important computer requests like registration, emails, etc. after sitting down. So it's a little after 11:45pm and I'm about to curl up into a ball and go to bed.

The cat has been snuggled. The dog has played and had her snacks and is cuddled next to me. Phone calls and emails made. Time to CRASH FOR THE NIGHT! 

As the snow falls and the roads become icier, it is a beautiful night. It just makes you realize you have to prep even earlier in the morning to leave. Maybe I'll have to clear the snow off the car tomorrow but most likely not. It's the roads in the morning that worry me more; yea for driving. (not!)  

Some of my personal, important goals were finally met today too. Remember those baby steps we were talking about? Yea, climbing the steps to victory. Examples: grocery shopping after not going for a month, exercising- even if only for 5 minutes, writing tonight, playing piano chords. Not going to lie, mentally and emotionally, it really does feel good to check off the boxes.  

And I can't help but giggle. I have an eighteen pound cat sitting next to me, flopping his tail. I keep hearing "thump, thump, thump" as his tail occasionally swishes on the computer making it difficult to type. Oh cats! Gotta love the attention seeking lovers while you wanna write.

Keep doing you. Keep smiling. Hope you have a great tomorrow. And until we meet again.

Blessings. 

Personal Growth and Fresh Starts in 2022

This is crazy; I started this blog ten years ago and never quite found the time to utilize it the way I hoped as a writer. The other interesting fact, I had many articles on this blog that I posted but only two managed to survive from 2012-2018. Where did the rest of the articles go?!? LOL. Not that it matters anyway...

The year of 2021 involved so many challenges. They were the challenges of hardship that make you a better person. Sometimes you have to learn to "let go" to move forward. I remember being on a phone call with an older friend January 1, 2021 talking about what I hoped and dreamed for. Ha! Be careful what you ask for because it just might come true and not in the way you expected. I had a part time job that was extremely stressful and wasn't paying the bills at the time; though I loved my job it wasn't enough. Little did I realize I would be accepting a full time position with a new company early in the year, dropped out of college (granted, it's for my second degree- career change), dumped the boyfriend, he moved out a week later, knew I couldn't keep the house and made a difficult decision to sell my house a week after that, completely moved the house on my own, relocated to a new town, and started a new job all within the same time frame. (Stressful!) That new job became horribly toxic (as predicted). Then the men I dated became even worse (that was awful). Which of course in turn put me into a downward spiral. Ended up going to a dark place emotionally. Finally picked myself up in August and reached out for emotional help. Job hunted for a hot minute. Did make new friends. And then.... AAAHHHHHH, LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL... I started my new job at the end of October. Made more new friends. Then everything started to change for the better. And it's only gotten EVEN BETTER since then.

My words of advice: TRUST IN OUR LORD. He knows what is best. God's timing is always perfect. We must give him the reins to our life and then let the miracles of life happen from there.

And this brings us to today. We are officially back in the year 2022. Don't know about you all, but HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope it's been a good one for you. For me, I started out being as sick as you can imagine. (Man, I haven't been this sick in YEARS.) Upper respiratory viral infection that lasted for like 10 days, ear infection, pink eye. Ugh! Sleeping sounds great, right? After almost two weeks of sleeping for almost sixteen hour days, I'm OVER THIS! And today... finally this morning, I woke up with no sore throat, energy, and emotional hope again. Granted, my hearing is still gone in both ears from my ear infection, but that will change one of these days soon (hopefully). Yet, I STILL BELIEVE 2022 is going to be a GREAT YEAR!!!!

Now, for those of you crazy people who actually choose to read this blog, great! For others, keep moving along. I'm not writing on this blog for anyone but me. If you feel the need to write a comment, please be kind; the world has too much hatred in it and we could all use a little more kindness. I have no idea what I'm going to do with this blog. I don't have a plan anymore, or a goal, I just want to write each day and see where this leads. You see, my original dream was to be a writer. Then life happened. (Boy, do I have LOTS of working life experience-- I still can't get over the fact I had twenty-three jobs in two years while I was trying to find my way after my original career came to an end- that was four years ago.) Then I finally found a career I LIKE!!! So, I still want to write, (someday I hope to have a family too) but in the meantime I need to work my full-time job that I actually like that also helps to pay the bills, be healthy and exercise daily, while I'm also focusing on becoming an engineer. Ya! I'm crazy... and crazy talented too. Did I also mention that I'm descent at music and music plays into this goal too? Specifically, the piano is my favorite. And of course you have to make time for pets, family, and friends. This probably sounds like it doesn't make sense because there is so much jam-packed here, but it does, and there is a bigger picture too.

Last year may have been the year for hardships, but this year is about finding personal happiness. I truly believe the best has yet to come. The best WILL COME this year. And if you ask me what that means, I have NO IDEA! But I know great things will happen this year with God's guidance and love. (Everything in the past was the building blocks to help get where we are today.)

My personal favorite advice from last year to this year: " Motivation helps while discipline is key." Discipline is going to make the difference. You can't wish something, or want something, or hope for it, or buy it... sometimes you have to work for what you want by putting the time and effort into it. Even if it's a small step each day, that step will get you to the next step. Two of my favorite examples: #1: you want to exercise but you haven't done anything. Even if you only do ONE PUSHUP, that's still more than what you did yesterday. One pushup, right? Not even worth your time, right? But guess what... that one pushup is the start that will guaranteed lead to another pushup, and another, and another, etc. You get the point. #2: climbing a ladder: one ladder has small, reasonable sized steps while the other ladder has big steps that you may be able to go higher and faster but you have to struggle to jump and reach each new step. Which ladder do you choose to climb? I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather take the smaller, easier steps that will get me farther in the long run that will help me climb and reach my actual goals. (think of a ladder that looks like you're climbing towards heaven and the top is whatever you want your personal goal to be.) Keep climbing baby! 

Each day we have a set of goals we want to achieve. And then we have things we need to add in for self improvement or continued self achievement each week. What is your goal? What do you want to make reality? How are you going to make that reality come to life? Just saying and wishing isn't enough... so what's the one thing you will choose to start today to improve your quality of life or how to help others? I wish you the best, and may we begin that journey this year.

Blessings!