I had every intention of stopping this blog because what's the point of continuing? I don't have time to write, nor the interest to write on this platform, and no one reads it either- which is both good and bad. But I think that might be an obsolete idea.
Taking a break from everything these past few months to focus on working through personal emotions and lots of health issues, and trying to find happiness again, I might have something worthwhile to share this round.
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| Jenn Writing This Blog Piece :) |
LESSON #1: LOVE YOURSELF
As one of my friend's likes to say "stop trying to be Super Woman; you can't do it ALL." She might be right! That attitude of trying to do everything AND completing everything leads to an attitude of perfectionism with lots of goals, running out of time each day and only completing a few items, which then leads to feeling defeated and creates a circle of self-sabotage, and then it's a struggle to finalize anything. What I've learned? Stop trying to follow what society expects and just be yourself. While all this was happening, another person I value stated "you're hard on yourself and constantly putting yourself down; no one wants to be around a negative attitude who insults themselves at every turn."
The lesson begins with "Dating Yourself!" Sounds like a weird and crazy idea, right? I've heard this for months and thought it was stupid. (Don't remember where I heard it, but I did, and I've thought about the concept a lot this past year.) I think I finally understand. Shut the world out and learn to love yourself! If you can love yourself, then everyone and everything around you will fall in line. We have to be with ourselves 100% a day. If we don't like how we feel, speak, look, etc. then who else will like us? Because beauty comes from within. We attract what we put out into the world.
I didn't used to have a weight problem, but I do now, for the past decade. Between hypothyroidism, no gull bladder, gastroparesis, and a few other items, my weight holds most of the issues in my stomach; Yuck! I have tried everything under the sun: I've followed various diet plans, exercised myself to the extreme, have thought about surgery (even though that's not the right solution for me), if you name it I've tried it. But there's ONE THING I HAVE NOT tried, and that's following my heart, my body, and what I know. We need to love ourselves. We need to trust ourselves. We know best! In my case, I have years of research and knowledge in my brain that I have yet to put to "GOOD" use because I'm always listening to everyone else. That stops as of this weekend. I'm not everyone else! My body (if I follow what everyone else tries) does the exact opposite (I can prove that later if need be). I need to know what my personal interests are and not take on what someone else likes just because it's their hobby. I need to be ok with sitting in silence on my own each and every night. And I need to know that I'm almost 40 and my life has not turned out how everyone said and expected it should over the years. "I Am Me" and that's ok! How does this relate to you? You need to find yourself: whether single or in a relationship, with kids or without kids, with multiple jobs or no job, find yourself and start here.
Questions to ask yourself:
#1: What is a dream (or goal) of yours?
#2: How are you going to make that happen?
#3: When do you plan to achieve that dream?
(I'm going with a basic guideline so anyone can participate.)
My goals: To finally learn to love myself exactly as I am. I would like to look in the mirror and love who I see and respect who I am, and I want to be at peace with who I am mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually to love myself from the inside out. Daily hobbies will include reading, writing, running outdoors, playing piano, and becoming a good cook (for my health). Before the end of the year I would like to run a half marathon and bike the Ice Man with a coworker. I would like to have a solid group of friends/ who are true/ who we can rely on one other and have fun experiences 1x a month. (I'm in transition.) I want to know I'm financially secure with ONE job. And since I've held out this long to never be married or have kids, I hope to find my person/ my soulmate/ the perfect match for me when the time comes (hopefully by the end of this year). No relationship is ever perfect as there are ups-and-downs, but I'm looking for my person. How am I supposed to find that when I'm not settled with myself? I also want to become a published writer in the next 3 years, and I would like to start traveling the world as a writer. I want more out of life than sitting behind a computer, in an office, and following directions! Don't get me wrong because I finally found a full-time job I love, and it's demanding enough that I can no longer have all these part-time jobs on the side- because that doesn't work for financial success either! So how do we make life better? And don't forget that along the way, whatever we touch, we should always try to make it a little better and a little nicer (ex: make a house look nice, recycle, give back to the environment, help thy neighbor, give to a cause you believe in, etc.) Be the best you can be!
So, I encourage you to "Date Yourself!" What will you do this week to be kind to yourself, to allow for grace, to give yourself me-time, to exercise, maybe read/write/meditate. What interests you? It might be difficult to incorporate in the beginning, but watch what happens as you change. Watch how people will begin to respond to YOU as you start to love yourself.
